Eeyore and The Clown Van

Back when I was still married to *Eeyore, and living in England, I slide off a country road with my eleven year-old, white Dodge Grand Caravan and totaled it. It was quite an adventure. The van rolled upside down, and looked quite similar to a potato when all was said and done. Despite insisting that it would still run and continue to serve our family, Eeyore had to finally relinquish the vehicle to the salvage yard.

 I figured we would now purchase a newer replacement vehicle since Eyore made good money and was collecting a retirement check from the military.

I was wrong.

What was I thinking?

 Eeyore was excited at the prospect of buying an odd blue-colored Dodge van for $500.00 from a guy at work. The transmission needed to be replaced, but Eyore was thrilled with the price tag. He brought me by the van to have a look and I told him flat out I hated it. The color was awful, it was rusty, short with no grocery space, didn't have captain's chairs or dual heat/air. I absolutely did not want anything to do with this van. Eeyore was disappointed I didn't share his enthusiasm for this bargain and we left with his spirit a bit deflated.

My girls and I flew back to the States for a five week vacation. 

Guess what Eeyore did.

You guessed.  He bought that &;*%$#@* van.

It was waiting for me when I returned from my vacation.

Now I was the one who was deflated.

You see Eeyore is a very frugal man. Did I say "frugal?"  I meant to say VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY frugal man. I therefore knew that whatever vehicle I was going to drive after my white Dodge Grand Caravan, I would be driving it for another ten years or so. This was NOT the vehicle I wanted to be driving for the next ten years.

But, I didn't get a vote on this or anything else, really.

The girls and I referred to our new mode of transportation as "The Clown Van." We spent a lot of time in The Clown Van to go grocery shopping, music lessons, horseback riding lessons, karate lessons, visiting friends, going to church, that sort of thing. Not long after the acquisition of The Clown Van, we received the sad news that the man who sold us The Clown Van died of a heart attack.

The next day, The Clown Van started behaving very strange. The interior lights starting turning themselves on and off and the powered locks would click themselves into lock/unlock position.

Is there such a thing as a haunted van? 

Did Stephen King have similar experiences? 

We'll never know now. 

I got out of the country without The Clown Van. 

Whew!

*Note:  name of ex to remain anonymous.